The Substitute
by Nikki13
Summary: Ms. Bitters gets sick of being a teacher. The class recieves a temporary sub. She seems to be good enough to be the full time teacher, but there is one problem with her, though. ^^~~**Chapter 4 Now UP!!! READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**~~^^
1. What Happened to Bitters?

The Substitute  
  
Chapter 1: What Happened to Bitters?  
  
It was another blazing hot fall (well not really fall since it was still august, but still) day in California. As most kids dread, skool was to start in a few minutes. "Back to hell" was pretty much written on every childs face. Especially those in Ms. Bitters' class.  
  
"Class, today I will be talking about how the idea of technology ruined out whole civilization" droned Bitters.  
  
Dib had the gall to raise his hand. "But Ms. Bitters, isn't it because of technology we evolved?"  
  
"That is all nonsense. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway. The universe is just do-"  
  
"Doom, doom doom. Yes, we know, but what would happen if an alien race were to come to earth and conquer?" asked a curious Zim. "And will the future contain fish in bear suits? I MUST KNOW!"  
  
"Here is a lesson that might actually be useful: Whatever you want the answer to be, it will always be the oposite... You ask for a raise at your job? No. You ask if you could get more money for the classroom? No. You ask for a dress that doesn't change from purple to black? No... No..No...No...."   
  
She went on saying "no" for a whole 20 minutes. No one was really paying attention, though. Dib had an annoyed face about the whole technology crack, but soon focused on his artwork: a picture of Zim in a government car, being sent to the CIA with Dib laughing maniacly on the side. Zim also decided to switch his attention to his own artwork: The earth in a hallocaust with Dib in chains and himself sitting happily on a throne. The two boys sighed at their masterpeices.   
  
Everyone was so sucked up in their own world, they didn't notice anything Bitters was saying. And what she was saying was pretty critical.  
  
"THAT'S IT! IF I CAN'T GET YOUR ATTENTION FOR A SIMPLE LECTURE, THEN I MIGHT AS WELL LET YOU BE DOOMED AND BE BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF THE HORROR THAT AWAITS YOU WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THESE DISGUSTING WALLS AND OUT IN TO THE REAL WORLD! I QUIT!" With that, she stormed out of the room, no one really noticing. About a minute later, though, Dib pointed it out to everyone.  
  
"Hey! Look! Ms. Bitters left! What do we do now?"  
  
The once silent room became a noisy....thing. It was so loud that no one could hear their own voices. Finally, though, Zim questioned Bitters "escape".  
  
"What happened to Bitters? I need to know! Was she stolen?"  
  
Everyone in class looked at zim with odd faces.  
  
"Maybe she was abducted!" Dib quickly said  
  
"Maybe she was taken by Zombies!" said a now scared Zim. Dib and Zim began arguing about what happened to her with excuses each more insane and unlikely to happen as the one before.  
  
"You're both so crazy," interupted Zita.  
  
And so the class was left unsupervised for the rest of the day. No one really cared or noticed until Mr. Elliot from next door was getting quite annoyed. After skool ended, he went to the principal's office.  
  
"Hello? hello hello hello" echoed his voice. The principal's office was a huge, deep wine colored room that seemed to echo. Mr. Elliot saw on a chair that was practically 10 feet away from the principal's desk. The principal was a shadowy figure, with nearly no facial features but his wine eyes to match his walls.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Mr. Principal? It's me, Mr. Elliot."  
  
"Ah yes. The fourth grade teacher. Go on and take a seat," Mr. Elliot sat himself in the chair mentioned before.  
  
"Sir, It seems that Ms. Bitters has quit. She left her class unsupervised for nearly the entire day. Shouldn't that class have gotten a...substitute?" Dramatic music played (DUN DUN DUN!).  
  
"Ah yes. I spent the whole day discussing it with her, here in my office. She wanted to quit, I let her. Anyway, you're right. I should get someone to replace her for a while till we find a permenant....substitute" Dramatic music plays again. (dun dun dun!)  
  
"So, will she be replaced by tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes, she should be,"  
  
"Good. That class can get rowdy without a teacher to quiet them down. I hope you can find a good.....substitute" Dramatic music, yet again (DUN DUN DUN!). Mr. Elliot looked around and thought, where is that coming from?  
  
"It was nice to talk to you, Mr. Elliot. Now, go off and do...teacher things...I'll just be here doing...principal things..." He played with the little bally thingy that goes back and forth on his desk.  
  
"Ok, bye." He walked out hoping he'd done the right thing, and still wondering where the music came from.  
  
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Author Notes  
WHOO! Thats it for chapter one! I hope you like this Fic so far, so leave comments! Leave lots and lots of comments! ^^; Anyway, I finnished writing this at 4:00 AM, so that might explain random insanity.... =D   
-Nikki '.~Y 


	2. Ms. Vang

The Substitute  
  
Chapter 2: Ms. Vang   
  
It is another new day at Skool. The kids in Ms Bitters class are actually happy for once. They no they won't find their teacher when they get there. And if there is one, it'll be an idiotic substitute. So, all students walk in to the class with smiles. It seems the sub hasn't arrived just yet. They talk amongst each other for a while.  
  
"So, Dib. Did you really think you could get past me with that hideous Muffin? That was pathetic!" Zim exlaimed.  
  
"It was not a MUFFIN!!! It was a chipmunk. And I would have gone past you if it wasn't for that piggie......That EVIL rubber piggie......"  
  
"Silence, Dib-Muffin! Let me laugh triuphantly. Watch me. MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA...." (you get the point)  
  
The kids continue conversing till a tall, dark and shadowy figure appears at the door. It twists the knob, and enters the room. The figure is much more precise and clear now. The moment it walks in, the students stifle. They sense that it is something to fear.  
  
"Hello, clasz," uttered a what sounded like a deep female voice. "I am your new suvstitute. Call me, Miz Vang,"  
  
Dib raised a brow, while the rest of the children looked terrified. She wasn't really scary looking, unless you look close enough at her. She was pretty tall. She had dark, haunting red hair and pupil-less eyes that matched. Her eyes seemed void, and lifeless. They also were covered in many layers of eye-liner, that contrasted a lot to her pale, nearly completely white complexion. Her lips also contrasted. They were painted a dark, dark shade of marron that was almost black. You could see her kaynine teeth stick out, just slightly. Not too much to notice from far away. It was quite creepy. Her clothes had next to no detail. She was clad in just a long black dress that passed her feet, and had longsleeves. Her hands were also very dead-pale. The picture had nearly NO color, except for an oval shaped brooch on the neck of the turtle neck. It was very shiny and bright compared to the rest of her. She looked nearly dead.   
  
"Ok, I can see that you are all very excited avout today's assignvent," she told a practically awe-struck class. "Vat? Are you all scared of your new teacher? Vreally, I'm not vat bad! You hav nothing to fear."  
  
The class seemed to calm down when she said this. Dib wasn't ever scared, he was just suspicious of something.  
  
"Class, today vwe vill be studying--uh, letzee," she glanced at the small stack of papers on her desk "Ze human vody....Hmm...You know, I specialize in Vlood. I guess I can start off ze lesson on zat. Any queztions?"  
  
By now Dib knew his hunches were right. He quickly raised his hand and shook it in the air.  
  
"Yes, vat is your name?"  
  
"Dib."  
  
"Yes, now, vat is your queztion?"  
  
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That's where this chapter ends! Whee! What is Dib gonna ask? What will the answer be? Will I ever shut up?  
  
Find out in chapter 3!!!!  
  
A/N yes, I know how to spell, most of the mispellings are meant to be mispelt. 


	3. Suspicions...

The Substitute  
  
Chapter 3: Suspicions...  
  
"Are you a vampire?" Dib asked. Most of the class just rolled their eyes. Ms. Vang, did the same.  
  
"Of course not, Div. Now, vwhy vwould you ask zat?"  
  
"Well, look at you! You look pretty undead, Ma'am. I mean, you look pretty much like a vampire with your pale skin, fangs, and the fact that you are wearing a turtle-neck to cover your bite. Another reason I think you are a vampire is how you know so much about blood. I mean, maybe you could have studied it carefully, but really."  
  
"Zat's it, Div! I will have none of this! Be quiet and stop accusing me of something that I'm not guilty of!" She glared at him with a look of death.  
  
Dib slouched down, feeling defeated, but still knew that he was true. Give me a break, he thought. Its really obvious! All I need is to see if she had a reflection.  
  
"Now, class. If there aren't anymore questions, I think we should continue." She rambled on about her lesson. Everyone was watching her, but no one really listening. Dib kept thinking of more ways to prove she was a vampire. It seems, though, Zim was paying attention. He stood up on his desk and raised both hands.  
  
"Yes...er..whoever you are?" asked the sub.  
  
"I AM ZIM!" He yelled. Everyone stared when he said that, but he continued anyway. "Ms. Vang, I was wondering if we could get a sample of some real blood, perhaps. That way I could study and understand it better and learn yet another WEAKNESS!!! from all of you...REVOLTING EARTH-SPAWN!!!" Eyes were all on Zim with those words. Zim felt embarrassed yet again, coughed, and said in a small voice "Right."  
  
"Why do you need to study it Zim?" Dib asked, narrowing an eye. "Need to learn more about Human biology so you can destroy us?" Ms. Vang gained a confused look.  
  
"Of course not!" Responded Zim, "I simply want to be able our systems more so I can..uh... become a docter!" He put on a fake smile as the whole class, except Dib, gave a big "Awww".  
  
"Riiiight." Dib turned to Ms. Vang. "Don't believe a word he says, Ma'am. He's an Alien!"  
  
"Div, that is not a vedy nice zing to say! Just because his skin maybe green, and he has no ears doesn't mean we should accuse him of being an Extra Terrestrial! Didn't you just learn not to judge a book by it's cover?"  
  
"Yeah, but I know what I was talking about. You are a vampire! It's very obvious!"  
  
"SILENCE! That was the final straw, Div! You wwill have to stay 10 minutes after Class! And after that ten minutes, you will be sent to the principal and explain to him exactly vat happened. Following that, I will call your parents and tell them what happened. Then you can look foward to them scolding you and being grounded for a looooooong time."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Say no more, or I'll increase the horror of your day."  
  
"Yes ma'am." He slouched even more, but still knw that he was right.  
  
"Now, Zim. To answer your question, I suppose that tomorrow we might be able to gather a sample. But that won't be till tomorrow."  
  
And so, the day dragged on till it was finally 3:00. All the class, but Dib left.   
  
"Let the torture begin, Div."  
  
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A Word from Nikki: Whoo! Chapter three is done with! ^_^ It is getting better and better, I think. Anyway, What will happen durring detention? Will Dib survive? How will Membrane punnish Dib? You'll just have to wait till chapter 4!  
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	4. Detention

The Substitute  
  
Chapter 4: Detention  
  
"So, you think I'm a vampire, huh?" hissed Ms. Vang.  
  
"Well...yeah!" Dib replied. "I mean, your name is a pun that pretty much gives it away,"  
  
"Very well then. How do you come to this conclusion?"  
  
"Well," He stood up from his desk and to the chalkboard. You know, sort of like pacing for a bit, and then he got to the board. "You see, vampires have a lot of obvious details," He scribbled something quickly. "One; they are usually very, very pale. Almost like a ghost," He pointed at her with the chalk, "You are a little too pale for a normal person,"  
  
"Me?" she pointed to herself with a surpised look. "I just wear a lot of powder!"  
  
"Ok, maybe you have an explanation for that one, but how about this? Vampires always wear high colars or tutle necks to hide their," He walked up to her and pulled her turtle neck down, revealing two small cuts, "BITE MARKS!"  
  
"I was bitten-"  
  
"Ah ha!" he said triumphantly.  
  
"-By a couple of mesquitos. I kept scratching, and it ended up as a couple of cuts. Is it so wrong to want to cover that?"  
  
"Oh..." he sighed, disapointed at how he was wrong...again. "Well, I guess thats ok. But what about those?" he pointed to her lips.  
  
"My lips?"  
  
"No! Your fangs!"  
  
"What? These aren't fangs! These are my canine teeth. I have an orthadontal problem. In fact, I have an appointment next week about it,"  
  
"I guess your right..." he looked down again, slumping his shoulders.   
  
Maybe she isn't one, he thought. Geez, the floor is shiny... I can see myself... wait a minute!  
  
"YOU DON'T HAVE A REFLECTION!" He screamed hystarically.  
  
"Don't you think if I were out in daylight that I can't be a vampire?"  
  
"This explains why you know so much about blood!" Dib thought out loud, not paying attention to Ms. Vang.  
  
"Listen, Div," she stepped toward him and grabbed his DISGUSTINGLY large head to make sure he listened. "How could have I been out in the day light if I were like Mr. Dracula?"  
  
"What are you talking about? Today was exremely cloudy! Practically NO light, just bearly enough to see!" Thunder started to clasp. The pair turned their heads to the window as water began to fall. Lightning flashed, violently.  
  
Everything was silent for about 30 seconds. Then, the power went out. Ms. Vang let go of Dib's head in the darkness, and walked away from him.  
  
"You are a very smart boy, Div," echoed her voice. Dib raised his unvisible eyebrow at this. All of a sudden, three bright red lights appeared. The constillation formed an upside-down triangle, and the bottom light was slightly brighter than the other two.  
  
"Wha?"  
  
Lightning exploded again and the power was back on again. There she stood, in front of him. She looked slightly different, though. She was now even paler than before, with her eyes outlined more to contrast. Her fangs were slightly longer and lips looked completely black, but shined maroon. Her outfit was slightly more exagdrent, too. Her dress now spookily floated at the bottom and sleeves. They also were, not neccisarily spikey, but like ripped up,(think Halloweenie Prof Membrane's coat) and those parts were sort of high lighted with red that matches her hair. She also now has a cape with a very hight colar that almost went over her ears. The most drastic differnce, however, were her eyes and brooch. They were now glowing, and were the shining figures in the dark.  
  
"You..." he looked over her again "You ARE a vampire!"  
  
"Yes, It seems that you are the only intelligent blood bag in this class,"  
  
"Wait... Why are you a teacher?"  
  
"I needed money...This was the only job left,"  
  
"Oh," he cocked a brow down. He shortly glanced at the clock and said, "Well, looks like my detention time is up! See ya!" he ran nimbly to the door, but was quickly haulted by Ms. Vang.  
  
"Not at all, Mr. Div. Your time is just begining..." her eyes narrowed on him.  
  
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A Word from Me: Whee! The plot thickens! What WILL happen to Dib? Can he escape? Would anyone care, anyway? And why does Ms. Vang need g need money!?" Hopefully, most of these answers should be answered. Well, I hope you liked this chapter! ^_^ I know I had fun writing it. Now, leave comments, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
What? Why are you still reading? I told you t leave comments!!! DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN!?! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
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